In a perfect world, every encounter would be like a romantic scene from a movie. It would start with passionate kissing before moving onto mindblowing $ex that ends with two very satisfied people curled up together under the covers. Unfortunately, reality isn’t perfect. It’s more like a romantic comedy where things usually go right but occasionally go off the rails in the worst way possible. Nobody wants to focus on the grosser side of $ex, but it can lead to some absolutely crazy stories. A Reddit thread recently asked users to share their grossest experiences in the bedroom, and boy oh boy did they deliver. WARNING: Some of these are not for the faint of heart. If you’re looking for the opposite of $exy, look no further than this list.
1. Busting A Nut
“My most recent ex wanted to incorporate food and $ex. She took a huge glob of her organic almond peanut butter on my dick and began to blow me. The grainy texture felt like sandpaper and it ended up looking like I had diarrhea all over my dick and she was eating it. Had to pull the plug on the act and wash off. Never incorporated food again.” Some people think incorporating food in the bedroom can be $exy, but most of the time it’s a terrible idea. Sure, you can’t really go wrong with a whipped cream blowjob, but once you start incorporating stuff like chocolate syrup and honey, you’re just asking for a mess. It looks like almond butter is another in a long list of things that should stay in the kitchen.